All brittish live in houses with backyards. This is so that when sun appears one day they could have a barbecue there. (yup, the outdoor fireplace is laid in brick and probably was the first part of the house that was ever erected!)

My story is how a particularly endowed girl (a barbecue housemate) popped in to one of these barbecues (my first actually! barbecue, that is).

The most effect-producing body forms I`ve seen live!

See, on TV they show us all kinds of amazing women so we are used to that. We are even picky about them!
But live it makes a difference! It hits every male in a radius! When live, pickiness suddenly exists in some other world.

No, she wasnt impressively beautiful, not meticulously fit (the type in bulgarian we quickly name "a bitch", justified or not).
She wouldnt get a photo session. She was
a bit fat. (east european standard)
But her fat was tight, not the dangly type of fat. It simply meant you get more woman.

She popped in for 30 seconds then disappeared in the kitchen.
The couple of guys standing nearest to that, got told off by their (very nice and fit) girlfriends for having fixated in inappropriate places. "I was looking in the ground!" Jammey defended himself.
But you know, it is like the rabbit staring at the incoming pair of car lights: you just cant help it!

I said to Alistair who had his back - "Some tits just came in. You missed alot. :D"

I was still hyping the event to the boys who didnt see her, when a few minutes later she came out again. Did I mention she was in shirt and jeans?

Normally they woudnt be tight.

There was an explosion of secretive glances inbetween us accompanied by asymmetric smiles. They were carrying the message "aaah, I see now WHO you were talking about!"
This happens on our "observer" side of the backyard.
On the side where the action was, there was sudden busy activity of guys trying to look everywhere else BUT the person saying "hello", and also trying to look as if desperately not looking at a person saying "hello" is a behaviour in the regular course of matters and not a minute bit odd! Hi-hi-hi, I enjoyed that thoroughly! Also there was a wave of shy and slightly embarrased looks into her chest by the Girlfriends. They couldnt resist but to check how exactly it looks, that which causes such universal unrest in the souls of their men? Also they wanted to suck in themselves the ugly power of their rival... Heh, curiosity is Devil`s first weapon!

Jammey turned to left and turned to the right, uneasy, and then decided the only salvation was in quickly leaving the scene!
Because that chest overfilling the shirt is pulling you, it is physicly emanating a force! It felt as it is the natural focus of the world, I wouldnt be surprised if the Earth changed its orbit as it travelled around her surface? [like, i've read, some 500 000 000 tonne supertankers cause]

There was a fast chess game of glances on people, between people, on her, in the ground, on the clouds in the sky. Lots of barely covered smiles.

I felt as the master of this game. My smile grew into sly crooked laugher. I hope she noticed us observers tapping each other on the shoulders in joint celebration.

Because I hated her already. Yes, I envied her for having these tits!




Oh, she had the bum as well! Its true that big tits and bums are on common display in Britain but she had more. She had the knowledge and the courage! She had this saltiness, like that in balkan gypsy music! She had this energized posture, such that both tits and bum were up, up, almost flying in the sky! this!   you see?

And she moved them around appropriately while chatting.
(and also there was something suspicious about that bra that should be studied in the class of theoretical mechanics!)

Oh, she turned out to be very outspoken and show-making as well. (oops, I am like this too!) I hated her even more. But so much energy expenditure? She was trying to impress somebody. Maybe me, he-he?

I promised myself that in the moment I have to establish close contact with her, I will unmovably look straight down into the place everyone was politely trying to skip over. Still looking down I will say something like "Oh, forgive me for my distraction, but your tits are simply overwhelming". Lets see how she reacts to that, eh?


A Barbecue Encounter
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